She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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