I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
can u get pink eye on your cock?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
