the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just found a bag of teeth...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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