I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
