maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
