It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
