he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
