why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
