Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sext me about skeletons
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
