My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
