my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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