O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
