Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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