I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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