When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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