Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
