Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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