Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
