Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
