Nicole vs. Life
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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