Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
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He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
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I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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