i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
