I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
