would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Randomize
