your parents love me but you hate me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think im going to throw up on grandma
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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