so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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