pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
