My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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