drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
