I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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