Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
These tits shall not be calmed
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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