I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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