it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Send help, water and tortillas.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
