you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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