I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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