do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
