I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
