my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize