when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize