when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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