guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I CAN MOONWALK!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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