So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
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Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
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alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize