he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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