Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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