I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
