I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
