kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!