That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?