Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.