So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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