Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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