my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My breasts were aching with rage.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
