I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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