If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
