I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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