I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
