He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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