oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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