and i looked up. we had an audience...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
