I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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