How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
