If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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