it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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